A comprehensive list of five animals that don't kill people but would probably be quite good at it, and should definitely give it a shot.
Five Animals That Don’t Kill People But Definitely Should
Ugh, I Hate All Of This Attention
It can be tough, being me. A superstar athlete in the later years of my career; the entire world wondering how many more seasons I have left in the tank. As I've grown closer to retirement, the media has only become more and more fixated on my future each offseason - and I can already …
Donnie’s 2022 Year In Review – The Statistics
What a year it was. Lots of highs and and plenty of lows, with old habits and new. Here is a look at Donnie's 2022 year in numbers: HEALTH: Dentist office trips: 0 Emergency Room Visits: 2 Viagras Taken: 18 Total Liquid Oz's of Milwaukee's Best Ice Drank: 14,800 Mountain Dew Flavors Drank: All 11 …
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Donnie Biscuits Is Officially Applying To Be The Next GM Of The Green Bay Packers
The news of Aaron Rodgers allegedly wanting out of Green Bay sent shockwaves around the NFL world last Thursday, when Adam Schefter sited himself (and a few stories he had heard somewhere) in a tweet that gained an avalanche of attention on Draft Day: https://twitter.com/adamschefter/status/1387848942432489478 Now, did those 'league and team sources' turn out to …
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Disco Donnie’s Unbiased 2020 Fantasy Football Sleeper Picks (Top 10 Players That Winners Must Draft)
The Double Down Don returns for more cutting edge insight to help you improve the size of your brain and the strength of your fantasy football team. Here are 10 unbiased sleeper picks to help you win your fantasy league: 10: DeVante Parker, WR (Dolphins) Parker is coming off an exceptional 2019 campaign with 1200 …
The Future Lavar Ball of Football
For those who may not know: Fuzzy has expressed on numerous occasions his desire to make babies with an extremely athletic female. He says it is his life's mission to create the greatest family of football players the world has ever seen. He will put his boys in top notch training facilities with strict regimens …
Donnie’s Prison Riot Survival Tips
If you're anything like me, you plan on going to prison for white collar crime at some point in your life. Tax evasion, embezzlement, laundering money through your franchised Dave and Busters- all of these are activities that I would love to take part in one day and would undoubtedly consider to be "worth it" …
Sentences That Have Never Been Said Before
Have you every thought about sentences that have never been said before? Combinations of words that are yet to be strung together by any of the estimated 100 billion people who have lived on this earth? There has to be at least some right? Perhaps I'm confusing you on what I mean here. Take this …
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ADVERSITY
There was a young boy in the heart of America named Jackson. Jackson grew up with everything he could ever want. His own room, his own bed, a plethora of all of his favorite snacks and movies available to him 24/7. Rules and discipline were practically nonexistent in Jackson’s life. A car given to him …
A Letter To My Ex-Lover, By Donnie Biscuits
Dearest Penny, It is with a heavy heart that I write you today. As you are aware, it has now been 6 months since our breakup. I've spent countless nights thinking about our time together; both the good memories and the bad. The pain of our relationship ending, for me at least, has finally begun …
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Donnie Solves Climate Change
Climate change is real. Many of you have probably made assumptions about my beliefs on climate change based on how I look/tweet/act. You likely assumed that I am a global warming denier. Well, surprise: I am not. I am aware that climate change is real. However, while I acknowledge it's existence, I am not sold …
Any Last Takes 